कुछ एहसास....

दिल से.........


लगता आज सब अधुरा सा है,
क्यूँ अपनों का प्यार न पुरा सा है।
कहते थे की वोह मेरे अपने है,
फ़िर क्यूँ तोडे मेरे आज सपने है?
करता है दिल सवाल उनसे,
क्यूँ मारा मुझे अपने चल से?
क्यूँ करे वादे,
जब अच न थे इरादे?


बहुत है दिल में दर्द आज,
पर किस्से बताऊँ और किस्से चुपयुं?
कहते है वोह मेरे दीवाने है,
पर फ़िर क्यूँ आज वही इस एहसास से अनजाने है?
दिल चाहता है के कह दू उन्हें मेरे दर्द के क्या अफसाने है,
पर क्या वोह समझ पाएंगे की यह सब उनके प्यार के नजराने है?

8th Jan, 08 to 8th Jan, 09

Journey Of A Year........

It started on 8th Jan, 08, when I entered into an organization with lot of hopes and fear about how would my career be after my decision of being a part of it. The day was really scary. My first Job in a way. The only 1 to be placed from my batch was a pride for me. Being praised by my teachers in front of my juniors was an achievement for me. Everything that I wanted from my 3years of college life got in a sec when got connected with an MNC.

Started my new life. First day was a day when my boss got upset

with me because of not wearing formals to office, I didn’t have one. Would a college going

student have them, I doubt.... But that was fine, it was just the start. There was a long way to go, to make my impression good.

First 15days were really good and fine, before one of my colleagues came back who was a big time pain in the ass with her 24x7 nagging and dominating nature. But then that’s what people around these days. Accepted her the day she was, but she was not able to accept me as I was. With this started our cat fights (3gals together, what can 1expect.....lolzz). Even our boss got pissed with our fights... Then came another new addition to the gang and then came groupisim & politics. There were days when we used to party,order burgers & pizzas and have a blast. But as said by someone good things don’t last for long, same happened with us. Few good things or work done by me impressed my client. This was a thing that none of my colleagues could digest as a lot of elements were there to brainwash all. This came to a point that nobody from my dept. talked to me. It was another fight for me that I fought with myself to stay strong and with them by not accepting wrong.

It almost came to a point when I was ready to leave my job, but then I had certain friends who became my support and gave me strength to accept all happening around me and emerge as bright star amongst all in the sky. But then it was a phase. This lasted for more then 2months, before a major confrontation happened, that was a hope of getting things back to normal.....and it started happening. We all started talking and made sure that the work never suffered. Certain people who joined in as interns played nice game of creating probs between all of us, but as the evil loses in the end similarly so did her evil intentions also came to end when we all joined our hands together. Chalo lets end the bad things and now about the good things.

With his started a better phase....One of my collogues with whom I always fought was about to leave the office, which was a sad moment for me.I was gonna miss all that 24x7 nagging, those fights & taunts which all were just for me. :P funny u know, who would miss all this.....lolzzzz but I knew I would. But then nothing lasts long so with her going away new people came in.

This time the new addition was already my bestfriend before, so things were easy also now & difficult also. The 2nd day of her job she bought games for us to play....Continuously all day long we used to play Mario like kids. :P keep chit chatting and used to do no work.... But when work rained heavenly on us, we all would neither look left nor right, but just work...

Then came my Birthday and I swear I really felt special that day.. Thanks to my colleagues who made a lovely card for me, bought cake for me and especially played the b'day song for me.... All that was so special for me.. Can you bet, that card was made in front of me, signed by everybody in front me & i didn't even get to know that.... I was such a lost person that day!!!! When got to know about it i couldn't stop laughing on myself...lolzzz :P

With this time just flew, from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months and finally to an year. I have completed my year in this organisation and where I learnt many things about myself, my friends, people in this world and what I was doing among them. There were certain people who were not apart of my office, but supported me the most when I started losing hope because of my bad days at office. I just wanna tell them that I love them alot for being my support and strength throughout and they are the best things to happen to me. They have been the best of friends I can ever get.

Another thing that was good about this job was that it got me appear for my college advertisements in newspapers and even on metro station hoardings.

Also about people at my work place from the day I joined, what I felt for them:-

@Megha: My first colleague who taught me how the work was done. She was my biggest competition. But she was a gal who had alot of confidence, which I hope helps her throughout her life and does not become over confidence.

@Shruti: Well Well Well!!!!!! The gal or should I say the lady who used to take my class the most. The only person in front of whom I went quit was her. Madam would always fight with me and back bitch about me, waise now I know that. But ya I really miss her sometimes.

@Nidhi: Ahmh!!! For her I can keep writing books as that would be describing about me only. Just like me, she is person who wants to live the life at her fullest. Emotional like me, but her New Year resolution is to be insensitive towards people.. lolzz...We have similar likes & dislikes from food to hobbies..... Love u babes....

@Vidhi: The most sensible of the lot. She stays quite, observes everybody and speaks when the time is right. She knows how to hit the bull's eye....

@Kamna: Ok!!! she is my best friend. though we know each other from last 4years still, there is alot to explore about each other and emerge as a surprise for each other every time. Now a days we fight the most, but then we love each other too..... I hate to say, but you are really special to me & will always remain so.

@Atoshi Nayak: Firstly congrats to her for her marriage. Finally she is settling down...Phew what a relief. If she reads it she will kill me. But a person who does alot of show off. I have this; I have that...blah bhah!!!!! She is in love with Vidhi!!!! lOLZZ. Thank God!!! she was just an intern....:P

@Ishita Ma'am: Ma'am explains all!!! My boss...well about her I won’t write anything much, coz if she reads she will pakka se kill me...But ya she is very talented.... Hope she see's our talent too... lolzz :P

Last but not the least I would like to say this 1years went how even I don’t know. Just it was a good & bad both experience for me. I had my best of the times and worst too. There were days, when we used to party and have fun. Went out for movie and outings.

All will always remain special to me even if I leave this job Tomorrow. I would thank everybody who has been apart of this journey of mine with all good & bad I got from them.

PS: 1thing that is still same is when I joined; we didn’t have access to orkut and gmail chat. And today with completion of my 1 Year our administrator has blocked them all again.... lolzz... Hope it restarts again.....

Love U All

Vandana (Vandy)

Year 2009 has started..........for everybody it started with a bang!!!!!! For me also its was a great start with a lot of expectation from it....... When the pendulum striked 12:00, there was a hope of new year, fresh start, better life, great career etc etc....... Maybe I asked for toooooooooooo much.... or maybe I forgot to ask for a healthy life that i got what i got that nite..... Everything was so great before that one cracker that was full of colors & light, hit me to take colours from my life...it was not just a burn on my face, but also my hopes were burning for something good for the coming year...... I had broken down & shattered because of it.......

But then came my Bestfriend's (GOD) angels - My Mom & My friends, who made me strong and helped me to realize that 1such incident can not kill Vandana's hopes...... She is not one who loses easily, she is has been fighting every time either be small or big fight of her life then why today she is so weak??? They supported me, brought back that Vandana who was so upset because of such a small thing....... Some1 really special & close told her that what she is thinking about is just the outer beauty, what about her inner beauty. People who love her, will love her anyways even if she was not pretty even then....

What I am going to say next is a very small thing, but I really want to THANK my mom for supporting me and all my lovely friends who told me my importance was not how i looked, but what I am.

Thanks and love you all....... muuuuuuaaaahhhhhh......