Emotional Rush...........just wants to come out.....

My emotions were at peak, knowing that this was the last time of my life.........last time when you looked into my eyes, last time when you held my hand, last time when you smiled for me, last time when you hugged me.........coz it was the last time when you loved me. But i never wanted this last time to come before i lived my last breath. Now a new day has began, people say its new hope, but i know its just a start of my loneliness as i am nothing more than a dead soul.......

Just as the days pass, i ask myself... why do i have to go through all this......My frnds say maybe this is good for you, but do they realize to reach that happiness, i m gonna go through alot of pain, rather i am already going through. Loving some one can be so painful, i never knew, as everytime there was a hope, that things will be normal again.... we will be together again, but that day when it ended, i knew nothing will same again.....never..... it was so simple this time, he simply said its over, and i sat there startled, thinking this is wat i was waiting for?? NO!!!! i may have said so many times, i dnt love him any more, but i knew it was not easy to get over all those 6yrs.....those years when i grew from a baby to gal and then matured as a woman, those yrs when i never understood what being in love is to today, where is was an integral part of my life. But today it feels, that sum1 has cut one of my body parts, and kept in front of me to see it bleed and bear the pain. You can forget everything in a day, but i cant. You said i have to strong, yes for a change i will listen to you and will become strong.

Everyday comes as a challenge now, but then i try to fight with it everyday. I ask myself, when i always said, even impossible says i m possible then why am i lossing hope & strength. I am just too confused with a turmoil of mixed feelings. But i will fight with that and come up as a shining star. I will make you say one day, that 'I WAS THE BEST'. I ll do it!!!!!

My Friendship & My Feelings.....

Its not just about today, tomorrow or yesterday. Its about what I have been feeling from such a long way!!! Everybody has certain traits, so do I have. But with this I have questions..... When I accept everybody the way they are, why can't it be same for me?????

People say I don't know what being lonely is!!!! But is the physical presence everything??? Sometimes you have a crowd around you, who just don't make you feel yourself!!!! I have so many, but don't feel myself with them.....I can't be what i am with them... can't laugh, scream, cry or share being myself.... Then how come I have many people..... I don't have any who I can say is my bestest friend.

You meet new people everyday, from work place to college to social life, so do I. Maybe because of my nature end up giving importance to all, forgetting that the person is just tooo selfish to revert back.

People are cold because of their problems, but why do they forget that everybody have problems. So do I have, but do I forget giving love & care to my loved ones.

Had friends, very special ones... But today they seem so cold and away. It feels more bad when you don't leave any stones unturned for anything that I could have done for them. But today they gave a cold shoulder and come up only when they have some work to be done.. When the work is over who am I??????

I know I have a habit of being possessive, rather too possessive.....This is because I love my friends & care for them. For me they are special, even that means caring for them even after they have left me because of a small fight or I have pushed them away for their betterment or don't even know why they left you....Sometimes it really hurts to have such friends whom you give everything, but in end you get nothing but hurt!!!!

A small thing made me feel how lonely I am the other day!!! It has been days since then, but i can still feel it.....It was seeing two best friends together, having such a special bond of friendship & love, sharing everything from secrets to there things... having same clothes, slippers, bags etc. I realized that day that I miss all that which even I shared once. There used to be days same with my best friend, but today I feel so lonely. The bond was also there in my life, but then why it vanished??? Am I really unlucky in friendship or am I not worth it???

With my feelings so pure at heart I will keep on doing best for my 'so called' friends who don't care, but a day will come when they will realize..... Hope so!!!! and if it doesn't happen then maybe I will believe in the fact that problem lies with me.

But ya there are some people who have really made me feel that I am special for them..... So there come a special thanks to them for making me a part of there life.....

This is dedicated to all those people who have been special......

"TODAY, TOMORROW OR EVER,
I WILL FORGET YOU NEVER,
THE PLACE IN MY HEART FOR YOU IS SPECIAL,
BUT DO LET ME KNOW IF I AM NOT UPTO YOUR LEVEL....
BECAUSE I CARE FOR YOU SO,
AND NEVER WANT YOU TO GO"